There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. Days like today, are the hardest though. These past years have flown by but time always seems to slow down on the harder days.
I remember getting so angry that time wouldn't just stand still for her. It should have. When your world is shaken that badly, you need time to recover. However, I know that's just not possible. Almost a decade later and I'd still be on stand by..
On days like today, I google her name, just to see what will come up. I go to the page her loving grandparents set up for all of her friends to stop in and say hi. I stare at her picture for hours on end. This year I even searched her name on Facebook. Why? I have no sweet clue. I'd give just about anything to see her face again.
The heart of a 13 year old is a fragile one. If broken too badly, it may never fully recover. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. Today is a bad one. It's the day that comes with a rollercoaster ride of emotions. There is anger, sadness, pain, confusion, the what-if's, and the smiling, sometimes laughing while remembering what life was like back then.. No matter how many different things I feel, and no matter what order they start in, it always ends with sadness. There is this incredible hurt that always lingers. Over the years it's gotten easier, but it's still there..
Happy 22nd birthday, Jessica. You are loved, and missed by many.
Jessica Furlotte (1988-2002)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Happy Birthday..
With Love, The Mrs. at 8:27 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 Lovely Comments:
This is the worst feeling. I still find myself getting angry at my best friend for being so selfish, for not thinking about the toll it would take on me or his family, or the people he never realized cared. Then I become sad and upset that he wanted out so badly that he had to take his own life. I know now he would be having a great time, but he'll never get that chance to SEE where life could take him. It's hard... and I understand the roller coaster of emotions. I'm sorry you have to face it too but you carry her memory and that's what counts.
Post a Comment